You
know a long sermon is coming when:
1.
You’re
asked to bring a covered dish to share during the sermon.
2.
There
are coffee pots on the communion table.
3.
All
the clocks in the sanctuary are missing and you’re asked to surrender watches
at the door.
4.
The
ushers hand out snacks and cold drinks during the sermon.
5.
The
sermon notes are carried in by seven ushers.
6.
An
ambulance crew is standing by.
7.
The
pastor is hooked up to an intravenous coffee line.
8.
The
ushers ask if you’ll need overnight accommodations and a wake up call.
9.
Your
kids ask if it’s still Sunday.
10. The bulletin announces that the longer the sermon goes the more
frequent flier miles you’ll earn.